dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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