Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize