I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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