That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
why does every cop we meet know your name?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
