I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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