please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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