She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
