i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
