a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
