dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
