she looked like the bat from fern gully.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
