I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
