He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
