I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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