He is such a slut. More and more my type.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
