Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
