To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
