She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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