There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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