Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
