My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
