last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
