if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
