you didnt know i had herpes?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
