She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
