All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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