Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
