:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
