I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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