you win again, gameday.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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