her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
sarcasm needs its own font
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
