marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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