i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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