I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize