.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
