the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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