My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
