i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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