somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
