I'm pants shitting drunk right now
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
