Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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