so explain again why im purple
no
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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