he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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