Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
