White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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