I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
