You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
