I never want to see another naked old woman again.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Are my feet made of real feet?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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