Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
