birth control should be required to get into college
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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